I went to the conversation connection. There weren't many people there. One of the Americans basically told me that I didn't need to be there because there were only 2 groups of people.
I felt weird about it. Even though I knew that I shouldn't care about what she said, it was true that I had a hard time finding my position in this group. I trust that Brian P. is a man of God, and that he appreciates me being there. However, I didn't feel welcomed by some Americans. In the meanwhile, I also have some issues with their attitude toward my people.
I decided to stay anyway. If that was the reason for me to leave, I would have left this group long time ago.
A few more people came. I started to talk one guy I met last time. He is a Chinese and speaks relatively fluent English. He wanted to help just like the way I did. We talked about our department (he is in ME), the Ph.D. life, our background, etc. We were actually from the same part of China and went to the same college!
As our conversation went on, the question of our faith emerged. To my surprise, he actually goes to NLC and is in a small group with one person I know! We began to share with each other how we became Christians.
He told me that he was a very plan-oriented person. He liked to make plans before he did everything. There was a rough time in his life. Nothing seemed to work out. He could only find peace in his heart when he came to the church activities. But back then he was only seeking some comfort in the community. Then he moved away from AA to another place. At first he was frustrated with God. But in a way God openned his eyes and helped him see how great God's plan is for him. That actually struck him deeply. He said to himself if God loved him and God is so much greater a planner of life, why couldn't he just stop struggling and embrace God's plan. And he got baptized the next day.
It was so thrilling and powerful to listen to a stranger's testimony. And I was thankful that God gave me the strength to stick around even though I wanted to leave. You never know what kind of gift he is preparing for you. :)
