questions
It has been plain hard.
Am I making the wise decision? Are things going to be better? Or it is just a difference between bad and worse? Am I hurting a person who cares so much about me? Did I try hard enough? Will he be fine? Will I be alone for the rest of my life? Will I be able to find a job and support myself? When should I tell my parents? Can I finish my thesis before November? What should I do with all the stuff we share? Why is there so much fear and uncertainty in my heart? Will I be able to stick to the hope I have found?
Tonight Rui came over to talk to me. I asked for her consultation. She made a good point by asking me back: "What's a right decision? Having a good life in the future doesn't mean that you are making the right decision now, vice versa."
I knew that before, but I forgot. I believe God was speaking to me through Rui. Yes, I should fix my eyes on what is unseen and eternal.
In "the case for faith", one of the interviewees said, "We learn from the mistakes we make and the suffering they bring. The universe is a soul-making machine, and part of that process is learning, maturing, and growing through difficult and challenging and painful experiences. The point of our lives in this world isn't comfort, but training and preparation for eternity."
So I do my best. I learn from the good and the bad.
God, thank you for being with me. I can feel you are here to ease my pains. Please forgive me if I am failing you again. Without you, I have nothing.
Am I making the wise decision? Are things going to be better? Or it is just a difference between bad and worse? Am I hurting a person who cares so much about me? Did I try hard enough? Will he be fine? Will I be alone for the rest of my life? Will I be able to find a job and support myself? When should I tell my parents? Can I finish my thesis before November? What should I do with all the stuff we share? Why is there so much fear and uncertainty in my heart? Will I be able to stick to the hope I have found?
Tonight Rui came over to talk to me. I asked for her consultation. She made a good point by asking me back: "What's a right decision? Having a good life in the future doesn't mean that you are making the right decision now, vice versa."
I knew that before, but I forgot. I believe God was speaking to me through Rui. Yes, I should fix my eyes on what is unseen and eternal.
In "the case for faith", one of the interviewees said, "We learn from the mistakes we make and the suffering they bring. The universe is a soul-making machine, and part of that process is learning, maturing, and growing through difficult and challenging and painful experiences. The point of our lives in this world isn't comfort, but training and preparation for eternity."
So I do my best. I learn from the good and the bad.
God, thank you for being with me. I can feel you are here to ease my pains. Please forgive me if I am failing you again. Without you, I have nothing.
posted by beneathwing at 9:07 PM
2 Comments:
Your faith is inspiring...you love God and He will use all things for your good (it might be eternal good, but it will be good).
Thank you. There has been a lot of struggles lately. I hope God will help me see things more clearly.
Be patient, Amber, be patient. :)
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