strong enough to love
Psalm 28:7:
"The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy
and I will give thanks to him in song."
Whenever I felt burnt out, I lost the ability to love others. All I could think about is how everything was unfair and how miserable my life was.
Like last week, I didn't wanna talk to friends. I didn't call my family. I cried night after night before sleep. Then in the morning I didn't want to get out of my bed. Every small action would lead me to the feeling of distrust and betrayal.
In "waking the dead", John Eldredge said that "the devil will try to use your wounds and unresolved emotional issues to pin down your heart under a spiritual stronghold." Like the sharks smelling the blood the enemy would try to beat you down by bringing more assault.
I wouldn't say my case is totally spirtitual warfar. However, if I believe there is a war, I should be alert all the time.
I am glad that God heard my prayer and set my heart free. I feel that my ability to love is coming back. But I know that more battles are coming. I need to fight for my heart, not only for me, but for all the people I love.
Finally, my dearest friend, you know it is very hard for me to say this (and probably I will say this only once), but I want to let you know at this moment: no matter what happens, I am glad that I am here by your side. I wish I could be of more help and I pray constantly for you and ask God to help us get through the hard times. I have seen almost all sides of you and you are still so beautiful to me. And I love you deeply.
"The LORD is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
My heart leaps for joy
and I will give thanks to him in song."
Whenever I felt burnt out, I lost the ability to love others. All I could think about is how everything was unfair and how miserable my life was.
Like last week, I didn't wanna talk to friends. I didn't call my family. I cried night after night before sleep. Then in the morning I didn't want to get out of my bed. Every small action would lead me to the feeling of distrust and betrayal.
In "waking the dead", John Eldredge said that "the devil will try to use your wounds and unresolved emotional issues to pin down your heart under a spiritual stronghold." Like the sharks smelling the blood the enemy would try to beat you down by bringing more assault.
I wouldn't say my case is totally spirtitual warfar. However, if I believe there is a war, I should be alert all the time.
I am glad that God heard my prayer and set my heart free. I feel that my ability to love is coming back. But I know that more battles are coming. I need to fight for my heart, not only for me, but for all the people I love.
Finally, my dearest friend, you know it is very hard for me to say this (and probably I will say this only once), but I want to let you know at this moment: no matter what happens, I am glad that I am here by your side. I wish I could be of more help and I pray constantly for you and ask God to help us get through the hard times. I have seen almost all sides of you and you are still so beautiful to me. And I love you deeply.
posted by beneathwing at 2:56 PM
1 Comments:
Thank you "Amber" - that really means a lot and you're right that it was the right moment to share it. I really don't know what is going on in my life right now...I definitely need help with your prayers. Honestly today even though my heart was so pinned down that I didn't feel I could even talk, I was thinking I'm glad you are here with me. Our friendship is very dear and I love you too.
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