the truth is...

We were talking about the obstacles in our lives between God and us. I said currently there was nothing to stop me from getting close to God. All I need was just time. And my life was in a relatively easy and stable stage.

"Wow, it's a good place to be." They said.

Then I was driving in my car to school. I suddenly started to doubt myself.

Is it true? Do I really think so? Could it be that I am so depressed that I am using God as an excuse to avoid things I should face on earth?

Well, I certainly didn't lie to my life group. I said what I thought was true in my heart. But the odds is that from the world's point of view, my life is the opposite.

My marriage is on the rocks. I should be graduating soon, but I still don't know exactly wat my research is about and I didn't start writing my thesis yet. I don't have any job offer, so I need to think about what to do if I don't have any income after I graduate. I will have to move because I won't be able to afford my current rent.

In a word, my life can't be more unstable and stressful right now compared to what I had before. The truth is I just don't feel this way.

God has been showing in every possible way that he loves me. So I trust his words and hand him over my worries. Though I didn't read much scripture (although I'd like to), I try to remind myself of what I knew. Love God, love others and store my treasure in heaven.

I know that there will be trials and I will lose my step and fall again. And I know that I still need to work harder although God is taking care of me. I need overcome my laziness and procrastination.

But, I want myself to remember that it can be good no matter what is happening to my life in this world, because now it is good.