am I ready

Last night God made fun of me again.

I was lying in my bed with some pain in my stomache, and also feeling tired by working on the paper the whole day. Well, precisely, most of day, because I spent the whole morning playing with msn.catoon.com.

So I said my everyday prayer. In addition, I asked God to release the physical pain I had. Immediately the pain was gone.

Although it happened to me once before when I was in Vegas, it still impressed and humbled me by how ready God is listening to me and how fast my prayer is answered.

I told God that I loved him and I was grateful for everything he had done for me. And that I wanna be with him.

Really?

Yes. I can't wait to be with you.

Suddenly the whole world was sinking into the enormous darkness. I couldn't feel any part of my body anymore, though my mind was perfectly clear. I could still hear the cars passing by my apartment on the highway.

I didn't know what was going to happen next. And I was scared.

Brian told me that he had similar experience, but my case was different. At that moment, I knew if I wanted to, I still could go back and move my body anytime.

So I chose to be honest. God, I am afraid that I am not ready yet.

Then every sense of my body came back. I moved my fingers. Turned my body. And smiled.

God, you surely know me better than I do.