a homecoming story
I finished "the Return of the Prodigal Son" by Henri Nouwen a couple of minutes ago. Although I didn't agree with 100% of what he saw from the painting, I am deeply moved by his wisdom, compassion and honesty in the journey of returning home.
If "waking the dead" was my favorite book at the beginning of my own journey, right now I can relate so much with "the return of the Prodigal son". I see both the younger son and the elder son in myself.
In my early years when I was totally lost, I was like the younger son. Fortunately I found the way home. But among all the chapters, I like the one about the elder son the most. I can't be more familiar with the heart for competition, the critical eyes, the feelings of jealousy and anger, the need for attention and gratitude, and the refusal to rejoice with God and his family.
And I see my resistance against receiving our father's love because of pride and distrust, and my resistance against becoming the one who is like him. I want to remain the child. It is a better position to receive forgiveness than offer it. I want to keep myself "safe" from the pains that others might cause me.
Reading this book rips off all the excuses I have used to defend myself and shows the truth that I can't ignore or deny. I have to let go the child in me. Let compassion and love cast out fears of being hurt, rejected, neglected, or misunderstood, for our father is love and compassion.
If "waking the dead" was my favorite book at the beginning of my own journey, right now I can relate so much with "the return of the Prodigal son". I see both the younger son and the elder son in myself.
In my early years when I was totally lost, I was like the younger son. Fortunately I found the way home. But among all the chapters, I like the one about the elder son the most. I can't be more familiar with the heart for competition, the critical eyes, the feelings of jealousy and anger, the need for attention and gratitude, and the refusal to rejoice with God and his family.
And I see my resistance against receiving our father's love because of pride and distrust, and my resistance against becoming the one who is like him. I want to remain the child. It is a better position to receive forgiveness than offer it. I want to keep myself "safe" from the pains that others might cause me.
Reading this book rips off all the excuses I have used to defend myself and shows the truth that I can't ignore or deny. I have to let go the child in me. Let compassion and love cast out fears of being hurt, rejected, neglected, or misunderstood, for our father is love and compassion.
posted by beneathwing at 9:41 PM
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