lost

I cried a lot recently. I cried when I was praying, when I was reading "what's so amazing about grace", when I was watching "Will & Grace" (yeah, that's weird), when I was doing nothing 1 minute ago.

I might have some sort of depression. I get tired easily. I have a hard time falling into sleep. I can't get up and don't want to get up. I have a lot of work to do, but I have been very lazy and inefficient.

The problem is that I don't feel depressed. Instead, it's numbness. I talk to people, I tell jokes, I laugh at their jokes. However, everything is so distant and temporary.

On one hand, I think life should be exciting and full of hope since I am graduating soon and God is probably going to use me for wonderful things. On the other hand, I can't wait to be taken by him. I see the purpose of life, but right now I don't see the purpose of my life.