be secure

It was really tough today during the lifegroup. We were sharing stories about dishonor or accusation in our lives.

I barely opened my mouth, because I didn't know if I could hold back my tears once I started to say something. I am constantly in battles with myself. And whenever I was frustrated by something else, those hurtful messages I got from my marriage would come back to me.

You can't be truly happy again. Nobody really cares about you. You don't know anything. You won't be able to find a job. You will disappoint your parents. You are a failure. No matter how you try, you are still a bad person and you won't get into heaven.

Most of the time I know those are lies. But from time to time I tend to believe them. Those moments really suck. However, if God was not with me, how could I crawl back and hold on to the dim light under the attack of those vicious words?

While reading "1 Samuel", it was quite amazing to me how David was secure about his true identity. We are children of God. How could he not love us? How could he not want to take good care of me? I wish I could have that much faith.