here I am, in front of you

There was a new member in our lifegroup tonight. So she asked me how long I had been a Christian.

I said, "um...I am not one yet."

Ciara yelled at me:"Come on! How long have you been seeking God?"

"Half year, I guess." I was not very sure of the answer.

Then after the meeting, this got stuck in my head. So I can call myself Christian now? Me? Really?

I know God has been wanting me to make a commitment, but I have been wondering around some buffer zone for a couple of months.

Last weekend I did a lot of thinking. I felt I was ready. I even thought about getting baptized by Troy because I don't want to make it a big deal, although it is huge for me.

It is odd that I want to commit to God at this moment because these days has not been the sweetest part of my life. My heart ached almost every minute when I was awake. I was asking God to give me wisdom to understand what happened and guide me to do the right thing which leads to his kingdom.

I think God intentionally put me out there tonight for that question. He wanted my answer.

So this is it.