out of the darkness

I have been somewhat depressed lately. The major reason is that I don't feel movitated by my work and haven't been productive. I don't see a purpose of my life. Also, I had to move, prepare for talks, and look for jobs. I am not a multi-tasker, so being forced to do multiple things drags me down. At the same time, there is some uncertainty with my husband's job, which made me nervous and frustrated.

But I saw hope. One night I was accused by the voice in my head that I had made all the wrong choices in my life. It was like a knife piercing my heart. But I tried very hard to remind myself of the joy I experienced when I first realized God's beauty. I reminded myself that what I heard was opposite from God's words. I ask God to make me more like him so that I can have serenity under the trials.

Then still feeling quite broken, I surprisingly experienced a moment of peace in my heart. It was like God was whispering to my conscience that no matter how brilliant the devil's attack plan is, he has the power to deliver me.