realization

Joel Osteen's sermon was on TV, so I watched it. It was good. Although it delivered something I am not sure of, it made me realize what my problem has been these days.

I am losing my faith in God. That's it.

Theoretically I know he loves me, but I stopped to believe that he loves me enough to lead me back onto the right path when I am lost. I am trying too hard myself. I felt I had to make things right. By doing that, I was actually doubting God's love for me.

I was afraid of failing him. However, my fear was a direct insult to God's grace and power. I forgot that he has a plan for me and I don't have to worry. He knows where I will fail and he knows what I can do.

I love him, but I closed my heart to receive his love for me. And I forgot who he is and what he is capable of.