how to forgive a friend

I have to admit that it still hurts. A friend whom I hold dear to my heart said something to me the other day that makes me deeply doubt my ability to maintain the sincerity and depth of this friendship.

Also, since I will be leaving, it will be another long-distance relationship in my life. I am not optimistic about that, in general, so I wonder whether it is worth all the effort especially when the other person in this relationship acted as if it was a waste of time.

What is worse is that it was not the first time that I felt this way in this friendship. There are definitely some old scars that triggered my anger and frustration.

Sometimes it seems much harder to forgive a friend than some other people. Because I love my friends and trust that they will love me in return, it makes me more vulnerable to what they say or do to me. Once the damage is made, it will take me a long time to rebuild that trust.

Does it mean that I did not forgive them? No, it is not true. I am not holding grudge against them. But things won't be the same, at least for some time. There is this fear. How can I know when I will get hurt again without any warning?

I don't know how God did that. When Jesus walked on earth, he knew his dearest friends were going to betray him. I guess he was heart-broken.

And I guess the only solution is to keep loving God and obeying him. If forgiveness is what he requires of me to offer, I should forgive with joy and peace a friend or an enemy. And if love is the greatest gift, I need to keep loving, fearlessly, for his love is never failing. My love for my friends and family is not even comparable to what he has given and will be giving to me.