commitment

This evening I went to check out the church’s new program, “Core”, which is designated to give intensive teachings about the Bible. It was good, though I was expecting much quieter music or even no music at all. I think I will keep going until I have to leave AA.

By the end of the talk, our pastor talked about how we should be more involved in the church activities, because after all church was what Christ left on the earth. We together, instead of some building, are the church, body of Christ. We are responsible for encouraging each other in the church family and letting more people outside the church hear God’s words and accept his grace.

Then the pastor asked people who wanted to make two commitments to sign on a sheet of paper: 1) devote oneself to the churches in general; 2) devote oneself to New Life Church. After the music started again, a few went up, and then more followed. I was standing there in tears, overwhelmed by love and sadness. My heart ran to the people who were ready to submit themselves completely. And I was sad that I was not there yet.

I was afraid that I was doomed to fail it if I had made those commitments. But I know I want to make a change. I am taking one step at a time. It is for sure that I will get there someday and stand firm in front of everybody. Maybe that day will come very soon.