time and money

I constantly struggle with how to spend my time and money wisely. I spent way too much both of them on things that haven't done me any good financially or spiritually.

Today I finally got up early and went to the church. They are putting up a series about finance, which is great for me. The sermon is good. I enjoyed it. Especially when the pastor talked about how the Pharisees did nothing more what was commanded, I felt he was talking about me.

Several weeks ago I was visited by two ladies from one of other churches in Ann Arbor. Till now I am still not sure why they are interested in me, but I was ready to hear "donation" from them and I was going to say no. My reason would be that I have done such and such. Then I am no different from those Pharisees. I am still spending money on a lot of things I don't necessarily need. Just a couple of minutes ago I was attracted by one of the advertising emails and thought I might go for something. Compared to that, what I has been giving to the poor is nothing.

Almost everyday I am torn between the desire of buying things/wasting time and the guilt from actually doing that. I am working on it and I pray that God work on me. Based on what he has done for me, I have no doubt that I will have peace with myself in that area as long as my heart truly asks for it.

Sidenotes:
It was a bonus that today they played the video of people flipping cards for the church devotion. I knew it could be moving, but it is so powerful that even by watching the video my heart is filled with so much love and I had moisture in my eyes.