dilemma

I am tired of those who complains a lot about the way they are treated and then treat others the same way.

I am tired of those who make promises to get together and never put in any effort to make it happen.

Unfortunately some of those are very good people, in the moral sense. I debate with myself whether or not I should try to keep them in my life. It does not seem to be worthy of my efforts.

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"The screwtape letters" is so sobering that sometimes reading this book makes me feel like someone was shaking my shoulders to wake me up from an illusion the devil created in my head.

"...because he is aware of a 'deeper', 'spiritual' world within him which they cannot understand....Thus, while being permanently treacherous to at least two sets of people, he will feel, instead of shame, a continual undercurrent of self-satisfaction."

I would be lying if I deny that I had never had such moments that gave me a hint of self-satisfaction. I am still struggling to find the best way, or God's way to interact with different people, which would be pure, loving and humble.