what is being strong

Lately I have been telling myself that I should be strong so even if everybody leaves me, I will be just fine.

But I was wrong. It didn't help me. I still felt betrayed, or lonely, or hurt from time to time. Actually it was worse. I closed myself again. I stepped back from my relationships.

What is being strong anyway? Maybe I need to re-define that.

I admitted to a friend today that I was in a terrible spiritual status. And I was glad that I was able to do that.

So that's what I should do.

I should be strong enough to

---admit that I am weak and I need help, even if there is a chance that I won't get it.

--- give, even if I can't get the same amount in return.

---ask my friends to love me, even if sometimes I won't get what I ask for and it could hurt deeply.

---love more than I can endure, even if all the people I love leave me someday. And I should still be able to love them now, and then, and as long as I remember.

The most important, I should be strong enough to love myself, no matter what happens, because God made me and he loves me.